Avoid Turning Your Dog Into Your Worst Enemy!

• Don't Buy a Dud. Ignore that doggy in the window-most pet stores get their canines from "puppy mills" that line-breed unsound animals. Instead, find a breeder who asks a lot of questions. If they want you to sign a contract to spay or neuter, they obviously care about genetics.

• Don't Take Crap. Dogs can't learn after the fact, so unless you catch him in the act, he won't understand why you're shoving his nose into that steaming pool of sloppy ploppy expanding on the living room rug. Also, remember to crate him at night. Dogs are den animals that won't soil where they sleep.

• Don't Be Mean. Expand your program to "lure training" holding treats above his nose to get him to sit and near the floor to get him to lie down. Dogs burn out quickly. 15 minutes of training beats an hourlong session. In other words, wait until you have a kid to push something way too hard.