Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Watch Out For Tornadoes!

The weather bureau gauges the strength of a coming tornado through an F-scale rating. The following are F-scale rating guidelines of a tornado by the havoc they wreak. So, watch out when the weather bureau tells you how strong the tornado through MPH.
  • F0: - Winds under 73MPH snap branches, push over shallow-rooted trees, knock down signs, and muss your meticulously feathered mullet! :).
  • F1: - Gusts from 73 to 112MPH peel the surface off roofs, blow moving autos off roads, and push double-wides from their "foundations."
  • F2: - Gales reaches 113 to 157MPH, lifting roofs, destroying mobile homes, and creating light-object missiles - like, say, flying pigs!
  • F3: - Blowing 158 to 206MPH, winds tear walls off houses, uproot forests, and flip autos and trains. They call this "severe damage."
  • F4: - Blasts of 207 to 260MPH can crush well-built homes, lift weak-structured homes and possibly get your fat mom off her ass.
  • F5: - 261 to 318MPH Satan storms can yank well-built houses off their foundations and launch cars like the Hulk in smash mode!